Famous Last Words
by Wynter Sora
Summary: Degrassi has just let out for the summer, and Clare is determined to rekindle her friendship with Adam and Eli.  But when a new girl and a dark secret are thrown into the mix, one of them might not make it out alive. /Post-Dead and Gone. Eclare.
1. Prologue

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Counting the seconds. The breaths. The heartbeats. _His _heartbeats, to be exact.

It's like a car crash, she realizes. A really horrible one that she can't quite stop looking at. Instead of twisted metal and broken windshields, tubes and wires hooked up to a variety of machines. Instead of blood, a clean and crisp white hospital room. Instead of dazed survivors, a dark-haired boy lying with his eyes closed, unresponsive, most likely unable to feel her hand resting lightly over his.

Instead of sirens, the steady _beep-beep-beep _of the heart monitor, the tapping of doctors' shoes down the otherwise silent hallway. It's quite enough for Clare to hear her own shallow breaths. In, out. The beeping lets her know that he's still alive and the breathing lets her know that she is.

"_I think they're dead."_

One year this September. That's how long she's known him. Less than one year. Three hundred sixty-five days. Eight thousand seven hundred sixty hours. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. One year. It doesn't seem so long. But in the space of fifty-two weeks, so much can happen. And she would know.

Yeah. It's like a car crash. And all that implies.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

She feels sick, thinking about it. Physically ill. But she knows from the hour and a half spent in the too-clean bathroom that there's nothing left in her stomach.

The two of them don't exactly have the best track record with cars. His girlfriend, his first love, his Julia, struck by a drunk driver late at night. Crashing his hearse to try to regain her favor, to try to resurrect the trust he no longer deserved. And now… this.

There are no words for this.

Only a few months ago, she was here, in this hospital, under similar circumstances. Similar, and yet so, so different. Because last time, he was gripping her wrist so hard she was bruised for days afterward, begging her to stay, to love him, to help him, and she couldn't, because she was fifteen years old and she just _couldn't_. So she left. Heartbroken, but confident that it was the right decision, that it would help them both heal. Heartbroken, and not really thinking at all.

It was the right decision.

She _knows _it was.

Heartbroken. What a nice, simple word to describe the feeling of splitting apart inside. What a nice, simple word to describe your boyfriend crashing his car for you on the anniversary of his previous girlfriend's death and almost ending up dead himself.

That was then. April twenty-second. She can clarify that, sort it into the ever-increasing file labeled _When I Nearly Died Inside._

There are no words for this.

Is a year enough to get to know someone? She thought that a few months were sufficient. That was before. Before Eli showed his insatiable desire for revenge. Before he almost died for the first time- at least, the first time since she'd met him. Before he almost ended up bleeding to death with Fitz's knife imbedded in his side. And that was when Clare realized that she didn't really know Eli at all.

But he charmed away her doubts because he was a good person then and he's a good person now.

It really is like a car accident. A horrible tragedy that she can't stop looking at. Because as much as it hurts to see him like this, broken and battered and barely hanging on, she can't glance away, even for a moment. Just in case.

_Just in case? In case of what? In case he wakes up?_

The countless times he held her hand. Reached out and intertwined his fingers with hers. You'd think that his hands would be cold but they're not. Warm, hot almost. If you catch Eli in the right mood, everything about him is warm. His hands and his smile and his eyes- especially his eyes. Dark green and shining at you. The windows to his soul, and that's how Clare knows that he's a good person, he's always been a good person and he always will be, because eyes don't lie.

But he's not holding her hand now. His fingers are limp under hers and his skin is too cool, as if he's already dead.

Tears burn behind her eyes, but she can't cry. She feels almost as if there's no water left in her body.

And she finds herself whispering, "I'm sorry, Eli. Sorry for everything."

She can't quite understand what she's sorry for but it doesn't matter. The five stages of grief; denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance, and she seems to be stuck in a mixture of them all and nothing matters except he's half dead (maybe a little more than half) and she's sorry.

She's so, so sorry.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

But there are no words to describe this.

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><p><strong>AN: This is the prologue. The actual story will start around three months before this, aka the day after Degrassi lets out for the summer. This is my rewrite of that summer, because I refuse to accept that Clare just moped around and bitched about the whole "my ex is going to be my stepbrother" thing. And... I'm a total Eclare fangirl at heart.**

**Warning: There will be an OC, and she will be one of the main characters in this story. I promise that she won't be a Mary Sue. Cross my heart and hope to die.**

**Written because I reject the idea of Cake, not only because they have no chemistry to speak of, but because now they're _siblings_. That's, like, unofficial incest, isn't it?**

**The story is named after the song Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance, which I do not own, nor do I own Degrassi or any of the characters. If I did, Eclare would never have broken up. And Eli wouldn't be bipolar. And Imogen would be schizophrenic (though who knows, she might actually be).**

**I hope you liked it so far! Review please! (And I apologize for the hugely long Author's Note. They'll get shorter, I promise.)  
><strong>


	2. Silver and Gold

**A/N: I do not own Degrassi or Halo 3.**

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><p><strong>Famous Last Words<strong>

Chapter One: Silver and Gold

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><p><em>Three Months Earlier<em>

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><p>On the eighth day of summer vacation, Clare Edwards says exactly seven words to her soon-to-be-stepbrother.<p>

"I don't want to talk about it."

She's not an idiot, and, no matter what her actions over the past few months might suggest, she's not a self-centered little bitch, either. She understands why Jake broke up with her, and over the first week of summer vacation, she's somehow managed to come to terms with the fact that she's going to be seeing her ex-boyfriend at the dinner table every night until one or both of them moves out of the house. Their parents deserve to be happy, and even though Clare thinks that her mother has been a bit hypocritical lately, she's done trying to fight the inevitable marriage. She tried to fight her parents' divorce, too, and look how well _that _turned out.

It's not that she doesn't like Glen, because she does. He's a nice man. A couple days after Helen announced their engagement, Glen talked to Clare privately and told her that he doesn't expect her to call him Dad, take on his last name, or anything like that. He promised that he wasn't trying to take her father's place, and she believes him.

She does feel a little guilty, though, about how she's treated her friends lately. She was an emotional wreck all through Spring Break after her breakup with Eli, and Alli was the one who was there to comfort her, even during those tear-filled phone calls at one in the morning. And then once they went back to school, Clare blew her off every chance she had, preferring instead to spend time with Jake. Or, when they _did _hang out, all she could do was complain about Eli. It was the same thing with Adam. She just kept whining about how horrible her life was, and she didn't even ask him if he was okay after that fight he had and the whole "tranny" thing.

And then there's the issue of Dave, Conner, and Wesley. She remembers standing up for Conner in front of the Shep, and it saddens her to think about how they barely speak anymore.

And now Alli's at some science camp for the whole summer and she doesn't have a clue what Dave, Conner, or Wesley are doing and Adam's recovering from a _bullet wound _and Clare's most pressing concerns still include her awkward relationship- or lack thereof- with Jake Martin.

So when he comes to her for the first time since the disastrous prom and tells her that he wants to make sure everything is okay between them, she does them both a favor and refuses to speak about it. They'll both get over it, after all. And she wants- she _needs_- for her life to be as simple as humanly possible at the moment.

"Clare, I…" He trails off, sighs heavily, and shrugs. "Suit yourself."

Always trying to avoid drama. In the beginning, it was one of those things that attracted her to him, mostly because there has been _way _too much drama in her life lately.

It seems weird- okay, kind of creepy, too- but she's still attracted to him. It's not like she can just turn it off like a switch. He's going to be her stepbrother, but he's also her ex and, come on, she _kissed _him. She more than kissed him. She had (embarrassing) sexy dreams about him and made out with him and _almost _took her shirt off for him once and now he's going to be part of her _family_.

This is _so _much more than awkward.

She has to fight to keep from full-out sprinting towards the house, forcing herself to walk slowly. She's not _afraid _of Jake, of course. Far from it. But, okay, maybe she hasn't completely come to terms with this whole situation yet. It's weird and freaky and she feels like her life is falling apart.

How many friends has she lost? Too many. And every relationship she's ever had has ended horribly. KC, Eli, and now Jake.

Eli.

God, she misses him. Not in any romantic way- the whole point to her relationship with Jake was to get over him, after all. But she misses hanging out with him and Adam, misses drinking coffee at the Dot and talking and laughing and working on English assignments. Eli wasn't just her boyfriend. For months, he was also her best friend, and she lost him, too.

Maybe it's because of Jake or the prom or the shooting or just because it's eight days into summer vacation and she's already so desperately lonely she can't stand it, but she grabs the cordless phone and, almost without thinking, dials a familiar number that she hasn't called in a while now. No, she doesn't _let _herself think about it. Because if she does, she'll probably reconsider and back down and she can't let that happen because even if they tell her that they never want to see her again, she _needs _this.

She _really _needs this.

* * *

><p>"NO! What the <em>hell<em>-?"

"AHAHAHAHA! I win _again_!"

"You're cheating, aren't you?"

"You wish!"

"Admit it!"

The door flies open, revealing a _slightly _pissed off Bianca DeSousa. "Can you two keep it down in here? Some of us are actually _working_, you know."

Adam grins, triumphant. "I won," he informs her.

"I heard."

"He cheated," Eli grumbles. That's his theory, and he's sticking to it, damn it. Adam hasn't even been holed up in here for two weeks, after all- how the hell did he get so damn _good _at blowing shit up? Virtual shit, of course, but then again, it wouldn't really surprise him if Adam turned out to be a real-life pyromaniac or something.

"Nah," Bianca replies. "You just suck."

Adam bursts into laughter, punching Eli's shoulder with his good hand. Well, technically, both his _hands _are fine. Hence the unbroken streak of wins- he's up to fourteen now. Which means that Eli is about one more loss away from just walking straight out of here. Let Adam kill aliens with Bianca.

Really. It's _humiliating_.

Bianca smirks but adds, "Seriously. Keep it down."

"Sorry," Adam mumbles, ducking his head, his cheeks tinged pink.

The door closes, and Eli debates- ah, what the hell. "You liiiiiiike her."

"Not this again," Adam groans.

"No, no, she's-"

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ME, DO IT QUIETLY!" Bianca shouts from the next room. Adam's face changes from pink to tomato red.

Eli drops his voice, but refuses to let it go. It's only fair, really. "So tell me, Adam, when's-"

_RIIIIIINNNNGGGG!_

Either the universe really has a thing about him getting the last word in, or this is just not his day.

Adam shoots Eli a glare and gets up to answer it, leaving his friend alone on the couch. He originally just stopped in to see how Adam was doing- taking a bullet to the shoulder is pretty damn serious, after all, and even though he's been almost obsessively calling, it's actually the first time he's dropped by since school let out for the summer. So Drew let him inside and Eli walked downstairs to talk to Adam and fond his friend trying to teach Bianca how to play Halo, and of course Eli made some kind of smartass comment after she "fell" off a platform and plunged to her death, and… well, he ended up extending his stay by a few hours.

"Hello? Yeah, this is Adam… what? Um, hey, Clare."

Clare?

He hasn't seen or talked to Clare since that day at the hospital after the shooting. _Clare_. Even now, after Jake and Imogen and the disastrous Clara, her name still sends a twinge of pain through him. Well, not pain, exactly. _Shock _is more like it. He didn't really expect to hear from her this summer. Actually, he didn't really _think _about it at all. His summer plans included hanging out with Adam, Quinn, and maybe Bianca, but other than that…

But now _Clare_ called.

_She called Adam, not me_, he reminds himself. _And there's no reason for me to be disappointed because of it, because I'm not in love with her anymore, remember?_ Both Imogen and Quinn have helped him see that. He still cares about Clare, of course, but…

"Um, yeah, he's right here," Adam continues, turning to raise his eyebrows at Eli. "Yeah, I'll… I'll ask." Taking the phone away from his ear for a second, he says, "It's Clare. She wants to meet us at the Dot tomorrow to talk about something."

_Don't you dare feel hopeful about this._

"Sure," he says, keeping his voice perfectly even and steady, a skill he's all but mastered. "Why not?"

What's the worst that could happen, after all?

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><p><strong>AN: Timeline has been altered slightly to fit the background for this story. Not very much, actually, but a little bit. So after Eli's meltdown during the play, he was sent to group therapy instead of individual therapy. Other than that, the timeline remains pretty much the same.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you liked this chapter! A little insight on my OC, Quinn, but you'll learn more about her next chapter, I promise.**

**Review please!  
><strong>


	3. Cumulonimbus

**A/N: I am so, so, so sorry it took me this long to update. Hope you guys haven't lost interest in this story!**

**This is kind of a filler chapter, but it's setting things up for later events. I kind of rewrote the whole outline last night, so I'm taking this in a different direction than I originally planned, but I'm pretty pleased with the general idea, if I do say so myself.**

**Review please! I do not own Degrassi.**

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><p><strong>Famous Last Words<strong>

Chapter Two: Fences

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><p><em>This has to be the most awkward car ride in the history of the world.<em>

In an effort to extend some kind of olive branch between her and Jake that she hadn't even bothered to think through, Clare asked him to drive her to the Dot. The ride usually takes about eight minutes, but of course they hit some kind of traffic jam on the way. In other words, she's sitting about a foot away from her ex-boyfriend-turned-future-stepsibling, and she's _this close _to kicking the door open and walking the rest of the way.

Silence stretches between them, and Clare has a whole new appreciation for the term _you could cut the tension with a knife._ She can't bring herself to even glance at him, and she's pretty sure he isn't looking at her, either. Stupid. That's a pretty adequate word to describe how she feels at the moment.

"So, uh… why are you going to the Dot?" Jake asks in a casual voice that sounds only slightly forced.

"Just meeting some… friends there," Clare replies, struggling to keep her voice light… or something along those lines.

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah."

The traffic begins to edge along, and Clare feels like laughing, screaming, and crying, pretty much all at the same time. If their parents weren't getting married, would Jake have broken up with her? _No_, something tells her. _Probably not._ Which means that all she would be doing this summer would be hanging around him, fighting with him, making up with him, making _out _with him, and ignoring everyone else who used to be in her life. As much as she wants to, though, she can't blame Jake for it- and as much as she doesn't want to, she has to blame herself.

They stop at a red light about two minutes later (_come on, come on- really?_), and Jake turns towards her, his expression so serious that Clare automatically knows that there is no way in _hell _she wants to hear this. "Look, Clare, I get that you're upset. Breaking up at you at prom was-"

"I understand," she interrupts. "Don't worry about it."

"I had to," Jake continues. "Our parents are getting _married_. And-"

"Don't worry about it," Clare repeats. "I get it. And I'm not… I'm not mad at you. I mean, I _was_. But I'm not anymore."

Pause. The light turns green, the truck moves forward, and Clare counts down the seconds until she can get out of here. She wants to make things right with Jake, of course, considering they're going to be _living _together, but that doesn't mean she wants to have an in-depth conversation about it on the way to _another _in-depth conversation about pretty much the same thing. Besides, Jake isn't really the heart-to-heart type of guy, and at the moment, she's incredibly grateful for that.

Jake pulls up by the front entrance to the Dot, still refusing to look at Clare. As she unclips her seatbelt and nearly throws the door open, she thinks that she hears him mumble a goodbye under his breath. But maybe she's just hearing things.

Despite the unexpected delay, she's still a good ten minutes early. Sighing, she sits down at a familiar table (_their _table, she thinks, but that's not really true anymore) and orders a latte from Peter, who, as always, docks twenty percent off the price and laughs when she tells him he needs a new job. Kind of funny how two of her sister's ex-boyfriends work here.

Ex-boyfriends. Great.

Yesterday, she had this all planned out. Exactly what she would say, every word of it. Rehearsed it like some kind of speech. But that kind of stuff doesn't _work _in the real world. After all, how many times since summer began has she sat up at night and thought about _exactly _what to say to Jake? And then as soon as she sees him, she realizes that it's so much easier not to do anything. "I don't want to talk about it" speaks volumes _(but maybe not the volumes she wants)_.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when a too-familiar voice says, "Room for one more?"

Eli looks… better. Then again, the last time she saw him was at a hospital after their best friend was shot, but even so. There are still dark circles under his eyes, but that's nothing new. Even back before Spring Break, he would stay up all night to get that story _just right_. He would skip classes to refine the smallest of details. So even this fits right into the whole _ghosts of the past _thing she has going on right now.

"Of course," she says, hoping that she sounds at least slightly normal.

He slides into the seat across from her, seeming perfectly at ease, as though it doesn't even bother him that she's his ex. And, for some reason, it bothers _her_. Even though she got over Eli _ages _ago. Maybe it has something to do with how she's gotten sort of used to him desperately hanging on to whatever scraps are left of what once was their relationship.

"Adam probably got caught in the traffic," Eli observes. "I think there was some kind of car accident."

_Car accident._ Considering both of their histories with those, it's amazing how lightly he can say the words. Like it doesn't even matter to him at all.

"Yeah. Um, me too," Clare replies awkwardly.

"How're things going? At home, I mean," he asks. Just trying to make conversation, of course. And even though it's really none of his business, she finds herself answering anyways.

"Good. I mean, not good." Why is she stumbling over words like this? She didn't even act this way back when she had that giant crush on him back before the _Romeo and Juliet _project. Or after that. Maybe it's because this whole situation is so damn strange. "It's kind of… weird, I guess. Living with Jake."

He laughs lightly, and she can't help but wonder what kind of medication he's on. Not that she's complaining- this version of Eli is much better than the let's-put-pills-in-Jake's-locker-and-get-him-arrested side of him. "Yeah, I can imagine that."

"I can't believe my mom's getting married," Clare admits. She's forgotten how easy it is to talk to Eli. "I mean, my dad _cheated _on her" -Eli's eyes widen, reminding her that he didn't know this- "and now she's just _getting married _again. I mean, I want her to be happy and everything, but… I just feel like everyone else is moving on way too fast, and I'm stuck here and-" She abruptly cuts off, staring down into her drink. _Oh, damn. Said too much._

After a pause, Eli says slowly, "Yeah, I get that. I think."

He probably does, better than anyone else. After all, he must have felt almost the exact same way after Spring Break, when he couldn't let go of their relationship and Clare had moved right on to Jake. Again with the guilt- it's becoming redundant, really.

"So, uh, how are things going with you?" she asks, desperate to change the conversation.

"At home, or…?"

"Just… in general, you know."

"Nothing much. Been hanging with Adam and Quinn lately."

Quinn? Clare thinks back, trying to remember if Eli's even mentioned a _Quinn _before. Then again, they haven't really been on speaking terms since April. All she really knows is that the lead actress for his play, Imogen something, had some crush on him and convinced him to go off his meds for a while, and then he went back on them a couple weeks before the shooting, which is, believe it or not, pretty popular knowledge. So, basically, she knows next to nothing about what's been going on with him these past few weeks.

"Who's that?" she asks curiously.

"Who's who?" a new voice asks, and Adam takes the seat beside Clare, who tries not to notice the fact that his arm is still in a sling. Of course it is. You don't recover from gunshot wounds overnight.

Refusing to drop the subject, Clare replies, "Quinn?"

"This girl I met in group therapy," Eli elaborates.

"Hi, guys. Yes, it is nice to see me, thanks for saying so."

Clare can't help but smile. "Hi, Adam."

"So," he says, taking Clare's drink, "what did you want to talk to us about?"

Oh, shoot. How the hell is she supposed to say this? Sure, Adam and Eli are acting friendly enough, but maybe they're just being polite. After all, look at the way she's treated them- treated all her friends- for the past few weeks, even though she _does _have an excuse. Kind of. She didn't have to give up her child or battle a mental disorder and obsessed stalker girl or anything like that.

"Uh, well, I was thinking… that I've kind of been a horrible friend since Spring Break, and…" Before either of them can interrupt, she hurries on. "I _have_, okay? And I'm sorry. But I was wondering if, you know, we could maybe hang out some more this summer?" Her voice is nearly inaudible at the end, and she stares down at her hands, biting her bottom lip and waiting anxiously for one of them to say something.

After a brief silence, Adam laughs. "You really had to schedule some kind of _meeting _to ask us that?"

Embarrassment is an understatement, but personally, Clare's just glad that they're not laughing at her. With her, maybe, but not _at _her.

Eli smirks, amused, and Clare can't help but laugh, too. It feels… good, having her two best friends back, even if they're not quite on the same level as they used to be. Too much has happened, and she can almost _feel _that, like an invisible barrier between them. But even if it isn't exactly the same, she's grateful for it.

"So could we, you know, hang out sometime?"

"Sure," Eli says. "As long as you don't mind Bianca coming along as well, considering Adam's in love-"

"Shut up! I am not!"

Smirking, shaking his head, Eli turns back to Clare. "You and Quinn are gonna be great friends, by the way."

_You and Quinn are gonna be great friends_. Of course it won't just be the three of them. Even with the whole Alli fiasco, Clare doesn't necessarily mind Bianca, but Quinn? _You don't know her, _Clare reminds herself. _You've never met her. Give her a chance._

After all, Eli and Adam gave _Clare _a chance. And another friend might be exactly what Clare needs right now.


End file.
